Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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