Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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