youre lurking in front of me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Text me some of your sweat
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