I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
