I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Randomize
