Got a toothbrush?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
