There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
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Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
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Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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