How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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