im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
