I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
