Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize