Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
honey bunches of taint.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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