dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
