Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
