Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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