Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
