That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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