I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
