When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
