Are we in a gay sports bar?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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