I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
