I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
