Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I can't turn off my feet"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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