She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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