i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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