Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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