i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
