we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I fill condoms, not promises.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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