my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I understand Curling. That high.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We left the knife in your bed.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
