so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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