Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
