LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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