We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
