Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
