i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
