She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
a search helicopter?!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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