she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize