it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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