hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
