think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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