either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
