I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
