yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
