how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
