a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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