Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I puked a lego.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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