he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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