Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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