There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
