It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize