youre lurking in front of me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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