Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
