I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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