youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize