I bet he comes in French.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize