I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
