this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
