Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
