Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
