Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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