I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
