On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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