We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The air was thick with penises
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
